Do you develop feelings after spending time with a girl?

Southeast Asia
#1
Do you develop feelings after spending time with a girl? Very curious to hear various thoughts and deep reflections on that. Cheers.
 
#4
When you're paying money for a service for me it's not personal so always have that in mind and have never have developed any feelings for massage girls/strippers/escorts. They might be sweet and treat you like a king but at the end of the day you're paying them to be in that moment. If you meet up afterwards and money is no longer in play then I guess that might change.
 
Southeast Asia
#5
I care about people. And I believe in being kind and nice with everyone I interact with. That said, I understand and appreciate the pragmatic approach to sex in Asia, and I don't allow myself to get emotional towards a service provider. I'm not there to fall in love, but I'm there to be a good, paying customer for a girl who provides good service.

There's been a few freelancers I've had extended sexual relationships with, where I never paid for blowjobs or sexual fun. These relationships stemmed from meeting them a few times for coffee or lunch, and taking time to learn about each other. We both knew it wasn't dating because they would sometimes have to leave early to go take care of a customer. Sure, they got a free lunch out of me, but the traveler in me enjoyed the time learning about their life and family because it helps me understand their culture and community. Many hard working girls are trying to help their families or survive week to week, and this is the only way of life they know. My feelings for them are as a human being. I'm not trying to fall in love, but I hope they are happy and I wish them the best.

On the other end of my heart, I have a hard time not developing feelings for the good girls I meet. These girls are genuinely looking for long term relationships. I've met some really amazing girls throughout my travels in Southeast Asia, and while we connect on some levels, I also have to be honest with myself and recognize my commitment issues. I've had to say goodbye to some really amazing girls.

The amount of options and variety for girls in Southeast Asia makes it challenging to feel sad after saying goodbye to any relationship. And at the same time, as a human, I don't want become apathetic and feel numb towards caring for people.
 
#7
This is an interesting topic, so I'll just dump as much info as I can. Yes because that's part of the fun; however, I keep it in check. You can tell by body language if a girl is really interested in you or not since they're still human. If you do decide to go down that slippery slope though, be prepared for a rough time. From stories I hear:

Getting Over Her Line of Work and Position
Single Mom Status
Most girls I've found that works has a kid. Even the young ones that look like they're in college. I assume they started normal, but then then all of a sudden when they have a kid they need to get quick money easily and thus find this work. So you have to be okay with dating someone that already has a kid.

Distance
Long distance. Obviously.

Her Work in General
You'll have to be comfortable with the work she does. That's knowing that your woman is sucking off some old guy's dick right now and he's having his way with her and you're not man enough to provide for her. Or even if you can, she'll still suck his dick anyway because she's used to the work and it's still money.

Providing for Her
They'll expect you to give them an allowance. You'll also be tempted to as well. Going back to point three, you don't want your girl to be sucking dick anymore, so it's natural you want to give them an allowance to prevent that; however, this is most likely the only work they know so they'll be temped to keep working. Maybe not as intense as before, but every one in awhile. Because they're bored, want a feeling of earning their own money or whatever is up to the individual girl.

Also, it's natural for a boyfriend to give gifts to their girlfriends; however, in this circumstance you'll keep being paranoid that she's just using you to get stuff.

She's Fucking Another Guy and Might Like It
Know that your girl has needs and a hot dick is a hot dick. Opposite of the old guy is the young hot guy. If she finds him attractive, why not enjoy herself? You can spin it to save face however you want to, but like any other job, there are going to be clients that you like and in this case there will be clients you like to get physical with. You'll have to get over that.

And then to add on to it, we see stories where the girls invites a guy over. Get comfortable with that too.

Your Future Together
Her Future Career Path
We've seen porn start become realtors and get back to normal life. We heard of escorts back home who only did it top for college and then take the income hit to live a normal life, but they're citizens who have an education. What's your girl going to do if you bring her home? This is all she has known. At best, maybe nails or something.

If you're lucky she'll study, but if she was that type she would have already studied to begin with. Be prepared to have arguments about her future career path.

Your Friend's and Family's Opinions
Lie about how you met or not? Consequences of each. What do you tell your kids?

Marriage
Viet girls for the most part do not date for fun. The idea of marriage is immediately on their mind so you'll have to handle that in some way. I'm not saying they're looking for green cards, but just that culturally that's how it works.

Their Family and Friends
Have fun with that one too.

Sex Life
Sex will not be like it was when you were her client/customer. On a common sense level, as a customer she catered to your every need with disregard to her own needs or comforts. So that ain't going to happen all the time. Every once in awhile maybe, but normal everyday sex will be something to figure out. Every girl is different in that regard.

Sex is also something to be treated differently. She's giving it up everyday easily, so she'll give it up to you easily if she needs to. What's another fuck? For example, you had an argument but you still want to fuck. If there's some agenda to be served by letting you fuck, she'll be more apt to let you do so than a "normal" girl.

And most girls don't like giving blowjobs fyi.

Interracial Dating or Viet to Viet Dating
Typical stuff, but I'm talking about the experience overall. Viet girls like to tell things straight up like in the example where a girl got called fat at a nail salon. Understanding them 100% may or not be a bad thing depending on what you want.

Where in Vietnam Are They From?
Girls from Ho Chi Minh are known for being less "wife" material than girls from the countryside. But do you want a countryside girl that's a ticking time bomb once she figures out she doesn't have to put up with this shit? But then again, all Vietnamese girls will play more of a "woman" role in general if they find a guy they like.

But yeah, that doesn't really answer your question. It's more of like what happens after you catch feelings? Just wanted more interesting content on the forum and spark discussion. Threads about blowjobs and massages are getting old
 
Southeast Asia
#8
Thanks @RagingCamel. Those are fantastic viewpoints for a solid reality check. I could have been clearer in my initial post that I'm not doing a simple yes or no poll.

Reflections, considerations, approaches to deal with and manage such feelings are most welcome.

If anyone has a personal story or experience to share relating to this, feel free to share. Thanks!
 
Nha Trang
#9
I grappled with this when I first started spending time in Asia, but now I view things differently. I come from a different background and culture, where things are accepted and judged differently than how society views and accepts things in Asia. I do not want to impress my ideas about how other people should think and behave, just as I don't want other people to impress their ideas about how I should think and behave. Everyone should be free to make their own decision in life because humans have free will.

On a side note, Joe Rogan had a good piece about this on his podcast a while back, talking about prostitution should be legal in America. As long as you're not hurting someone, who cares if money is exchanged to touch another person's body. In one example he made, some people should know the feeling of being touched between their legs because some people live a life without sexual stimulation and that's not being human.

For the question posed, I think about how every relationship in life begins and evolves. When I meet a girl through a dating site, the expectation is dating and feelings come along with that ride. When I meet a girl at a blowjob bar or massage parlor, the expectation is sexual gratification and lust comes along with that ride. Do not be fooled with your heart and feelings because the girl is accepting money to please you, and you are enabling the situation by paying money for her to please you. I'm not saying it's easy, because we are all humans, but take a step back and look at the total entirety of the situation that took place, and it's fake intimacy. We are foolish to think we are experiencing any real intimacy with these ladies. When I have sex with a good girl, we can lay in bed naked, talking and laughing and we are both filled with emotions, blah blah blah. When I pay a girl for her time, she does not linger around trying to spend more time with me after I cum because it's time to cleanup and move on to the next customer.

A job is when we exchange our time for money. A relationship is when we share our time with someone who shares their time.
 
#10
@mark Good point, but what happens if she does linger without expectation of pay? We all heard of that happening.

And please do impress your idea. This is a discussion and I think we're all old enough here to make our own decisions.
 
Last edited:
#11
I wanted to add one more thing to my first post.

Dating
How do y'all date? If your girl goes with customers everywhere and has done everything, then there's really nothing special for y'all to do. For example, you want to go to this nice fancy bar to hang out, but she's been a million different times with a million different people already. That fancy restaurant? Been there. What about a nice Vietnamese resort? She's been there too.

Of course every girl is different, but imagine to our younger years when we have served tables. A lot of people have served tables before and a good number of them, or at least me gets bored of the food at my restaurant and would not like to eat there or the kind of food that I'm around all the time.
 
Tay Ninh, Vietnam
#12
If you fall in love with a sex worker, it will depend on you if you think the feelings are mutual, but what you have to consider is whether those feelings will last if you're not going to pay her to spend time with you, and then you'll see how her attitude changes after the service ends. For example, after the service finishes, will she stay with you and continue talking and spending her time with you without any expectation of money? Is she spending time with you on her own free will?

I'm not a fan of dating sites, but the first problem with these sites is the "love at first sight" where you like the girl, but the feelings are not mutual. The good thing about dating sites is you only spend money on food and things that are not part of the sex service industry. And you may have sex with her after meeting one time, and these fake feelings towards one another may only last for one hour or maybe overnight.

If you are financially stable, you can take the risk of dating an escort and providing for the girl's everyday needs allowing her to quit her job. But as others have said, "what if she gets bored" or "maybe she wants to earn her own money and the only thing they know a quick cash grab is being an escort or a sex worker." Are you ok with her decision to go back working and you have no problem with other guy's ramming her while you work a normal day job? If so, congrats, but if not, would you take the risk of falling for her? At the end of the day, only you can make that decision.
 
Top