Neko Massage - Full Review - Hanoi, Vietnam

Southeast Asia
#1
Here's my full review of Neko Nuru Massage in Hanoi, Vietnam. Logan's review for Neko Massage was the best review I read before heading down for this.

Background
This was my second last day in Hanoi. Kynu.net seemed promising with a lot of hot profiles, but the end-to-end process and the need to translate Vietnamese text seemed too much of a hassle. Many profiles didn't have phone numbers too. Other options I contemplated included (i) an attractive freelancer I matched on Tinder (quoted me $100 USD for short time, $170 USD for overnight) who asked to meet at A25 Hotel, a nearby hotel, and (ii) street approaches by men who would take you to see girls (one guy quoted me 900,000 VND for full service, tried persuading me to follow him to "just see only, seeing is free"). Given my concerns around being overcharged and safety, I decided to roll with Neko Massage after reading its reviews.

I messaged Neko Massage to enquire how many girls were working that day. Linh responded, in broken but still comprehensible English, that there were 50 girls. Linh then sent me 25 photos of girls working that day. I questioned where the other 25 were before Linh sent me another batch of 60 photos, containing repeat photos. I don't think Linh understood me fully. I browsed the photos on my phone; the girls ranged from 4 to 9 on the scale of attractiveness, mostly 7 and above. I indicated to Linh the index numbers of 5 girls I shortlisted. Linh replied that only 3 of the 5 I picked were working that day. That's fine since I was only really looking for one. Didn't want to blinker myself on one girl.

Taking Action
Procrastinated for a good 3-4 hours before heading down at 6pm plus. Hopped on a Grab Bike from Old Quarter to OCD Plaza for 24,000 VND. I entered from the main entrance of McQueen KTV. 5 men were at the lobby, eating their dinner (cup noodles and packet food) on couches. I politely entered and headed straight for the lift on the right side when one guy asked if I was there for massage. I said yes. He then directed me to the lift before he tapped his white pass in the lift (just below the panel of buttons for the various floors) for me to head up to level 4. I wondered why there was a need for this access pass - was it to prevent accidental passers-by or police raids?

I arrived on level 4. Saw about 3-4 staff in black uniform manning the place. One guy appearing to be the manager approached me, asking if I had made an appointment. I showed him my messages with Linh and asked if he knew Linh. He seems slightly confused (I might have mispronounced Linh's name as "Lean"), then asked me to take a seat on the couch at the reception area. I caught a glimpse of one girl in her red show dress for about 2 seconds. Another guy served me tea in a big glass cup but I didn't drink. Just being careful; the tea didn't look appealing nor did the glass look clean - the glass was slightly cloudy.

One guy (I can't recall who) handed me the "menu" asking what my preference was. I selected the 600,000 + 600,000 VND massage package and was almost immediately led to a room via the corridor of stepping stones. Gosh. Some serious landscaping effort here. Believe my room was the first one, on the right side. What I first noticed and didn't like was that the door had a square glass panel which people could look through from the corridor; the massage table and almost the whole room could be seen from that glass panel. (The reviews I read before coming didn't cover this). Only the bathtub was slightly blocked by the shelf.

I was told to wait in the room while the guy who led me in left. No line-up of girls I was hoping for. Heck. I proceeded to explore the room which basically comprised (1) a massage bed, (2) a white bathtub with black plastic headrest, (3) a shower area that doubled up as sauna room. The room was nicely decorated - on the wall in front of the massage bed a painting of a geisha, stones and tiles on the floor towards the bathtub and the sauna area. There was also a wooden shelf between the massage area and the bathtub, with numerous items on it including brown towels, a green plastic comb, an orange rock salt on a stand, the air con remote controller, and other small artifacts. As I sat down on the massage bed to wait and placed my bag on the floor next to it, I noticed half a fake eyelash on the floor.

The Selection
2 minutes later, the guy came back in with [N] in her red show dress. She was really attractive, her long and slightly curled hair was let down, decent sized boobs, beautiful eyes. She gave a hesitant smile when the guy asked if I was okay with her. I checked her out but am not used to having a girl look at me while I check her out. She must have been a 9. The girls whom I earlier requested for over the phone were the girl-next-door type, around 8 on the attractiveness scale; I deliberately did not choose the best, model-looking ones as I hypothesized that service might suffer slightly when the girls knew they were the most attractive of the crop. I was therefore surprised that [N] was brought to me when she was not one of the 3 I selected. I guessed it could be because among their clientele, I'm relatively good looking and young. Managing the girls would probably require some matchmaking as well to keep both sides happy. At that point I couldn't recall seeing [N] in the photos sent to me earlier.

I cued to the guy that I did select a few girls beforehand, but realized it was extremely awkward to show the photos of those pre-selected girls to both the guy and [N]. Found it hard to reject [N] in front of her face. Without much resistance I said ok. The guy left and [N] closed the door behind her.

The Sauna and the Bathtub
[N] approached me by the bed, gave me playful pinch on my left chest and asked if she could be my girlfriend (or words to that effect with her command of English). This girl was clearly naughty and I was happy I didn't request for a switch. As she came closer I noticed freckles on both sides of her face - cute nonetheless. [N] invited me to sit before sitting next to me. Wasn't long before she extended on leg across my thigh and began touching me. I ran my hands over her smooth skin. Damn she's gorgeous. We made small talk. Exchanged our age - she told me she was 20 (not sure if true although believable). She showed me her name tattoo-ed to her arm. I don't think she remembers my name. I asked if we could close or block the glass panel on the door but she seemed helpless on that.

[N] helped remove my clothes and hooked them by the door. Man my phone was in the pocket of my shorts. She then invited me to use the sauna - it was legit and I was impressed. Couldn't see clearly in it although I could have wiped the condensation off the glass separator. I could hear [N] preparing stuff outside the sauna, in the room though I wasn't sure what she was doing. 3-5 mins later I came out of the sauna and sat on the bed. [N] had left the room for a while. When she came back in she started removing her dress as I watched. She didn't wear a bra, her boobs were huge and firm although probably fake, nice medium sized nipples. Her pussy wasn't shaved, although it seemed clean and was neat. This shit was erotic. I wished she did it slower and maybe kept her panties on. She came to me fully naked, touched me some more, let out a fake moan as my lips trailed her neck. I loved seeing her tie her hair up. I don't even know what she used to tie it up or where she got it from. She's beautiful.

Soon, [N] held my hand and led me to the bathtub. The tap was already on. She felt the temperature of the water and said it was hot so began to adjust the taps, I went ahead to feel the water for myself and she kind of prevented me from scalding my hand (not sure if out of genuine concern or just part of the service). Can't recall what happened in between - we might have chatted a little more before I went into the tub. She showered and bathed me. Asked if she should wash my hair, to which I said no. Halfway through, her phone which she was charging on the wooden shelf rang. I'm pretty sure she would have silenced it so I told her to take the call, I'm fine with that. She took 20 seconds at most.

Wanted to ask who called but decided against making meaningless conversation over Google Translate. When she later took the bath loofa and started adding soap I thought to myself if I should request for her not to use it - personally quite a hygiene freak and god knows how many people that loofa might have been used on. Not sure why I didn't stop her. She went ahead to scrub my back with it before washing the rest of my body with her hands, giving my little bro a good rub down there. I felt everything was timed just right - neither artificially long or nor rushed too quickly. When she was done washing me she wrapped herself up in towel before drying me off.

Massage Bed
I wanted to tell [N] she's beautiful. She gave me her phone to use Google Translate. I can't help but notice that the last translation was "please rate me 5 stars" which reminded me this was a service, not a Vietnamese girlfriend. That, and seeing all previous translation, really sucked big time. Anyway, she denied she was beautiful. Not sure if she was sincere, fishing for compliment, or maybe this humility was just part of Vietnamese culture. She did a good 10 min massage for me while I laid facing down on the massage bed. At one point she sat on my ass and started pumping up and down with more fake moaning, as if we were having sex. I found it a little hilarious but enjoyed the skin-to-skin contact.

During the massage I gestured to [N] that she could use more strength. She had trouble understanding me, thought I only wanted her to knock rather than rub my back because I was gesturing by punching the bed (in retrospect, that was a silly moment). I gave up on that eventually. Also noteworthy was one part where she stood up, used her legs to push down my back and her hands to pull my arm towards her, from both left and right sides to give a good crack (knuckle cracking kind of crack). Boy it felt good. That took some skills although I must admit I was slightly worried if she could execute the move properly, or left me paralysed. When she flipped me over I saw that glorious mirror on the ceiling, above the bed; this mirror made a huge difference for the rest of the session.

Nuru Massage
[N] left the bed to get the Nuru lube. I saw her picking up a white porcelain cup but not sure where the Nuru lube came from (maybe she already prepared this while I was in the sauna). My eyes were on her body, her hair, her breasts, her hips, her legs. The view was amazing. I later noticed she added some Listerine to the Nuru gel and started mixing it with her hands by pulling the gel up from the cup a few times. Not sure if this was part of the SOP (don't think I saw this in reviews), but nice improvisation. I enjoyed the view of her hourglass figure as she came back to the bed with the cup. She asked me to flip back over to face downwards.

She started applying the lube on my back and legs. Listerine added a minty feel to it. Kinky. Was completely caught off guard when I felt [N] starting the Nuru by LICKING AND SUCKING ALL THAT LISTERINE LUBE WITH HER MOUTH?! WHAT THE FUCK. She started from my left heel, then went higher and higher, eventually covering my entire back. I couldn't see but was sure she used some teeth action too. Damn son. That was some good effort I swear and the teeth action added a whole new dimension to the experience. Prayed she wouldn't bite, though I didn't know how to say that in Vietnamese and didn't want to pause that kinky shit with some Google Translate. Decided to trust her with that. (Am I receiving something special here or did previous reviewers just not include this given it might be a spoiler?)

Flipped back upwards and I thoroughly enjoyed the view in front of me and from the ceiling mirror. All that skin-to-skin rubbing/sliding/grinding with minty lube got me fully erected. She started giving me a handjob before a blowjob, then alternating between the two skillfully. She needs to breathe, I know. Around this period, I started to cup her boobs, grab her ass, play with her clit and feel her pussy, making sure she was comfortable with each advance. I eventually got 2 fingers all the way in, really deep, feeling the texture of every wall in her vagina. The moaning continued throughout although at this point I'm not sure which moans were real and I couldn't care less which were fake. She seemed to be in some pain when I inserted 3 fingers so I stopped and went back to 2. At one point we also went into a 69 position - loved the view and could have given her oral although I only kissed her clit, didn't want to stick my tongue in (in fear of catching something nasty).

The BJ + HJ continued for an extended period of time. [N] expected me to cum but I held it up well. She later got slightly pissed, gesturing that I was taking too long, although that didn't stop her from allowing me to continue fingering her. I laughed it off knowing she's just human. She playfully attacked my nipples while making some cute face; I fended her attack off. At this point I was certainly into [N]. Beautiful, gorgeous lady. She continued to alternate between blowjob and handjob. I guided her head down to make the blowjob deeper. At times when she was doing the HJ, she played, licked and sucked on my nipples, again I prayed she wouldn't bite. She eventually allowed me to CIM and I loved that she continued for a good 5-8 seconds even after I came. She then spat it out on the towel behind before using her hands to squeeze out the remaining cum in my little bro. She continued kissing me and the overall experience was amazing. She asked if I liked her; of course I did. At this point, I'm pretty sure I exceeded the time limit.

Cleanup
What proceeded was a shower in the sauna room. Can't help but notice the brand of bath lotion was Lifebuoy, or at least the container was. I offered to shower her first and soap her up. Why not. I loved touching her all over. She did the same for me. Halfway through she knelt down in front of my dick, said something I couldn't understand and giggled. I wasn't sure what she meant, I thought she wanted to give me a BJ again. She didn't but she continued touching and cleaning me. We came out of the shower before drying up.

I did shed a tear at the end; wondering why such an amazing girl had to work in an environment like this. I even apologized via Google Translate. Told her that I wished we met under different circumstances. For what that's worth. Probably not a lot, although I truly meant it. On many levels, I felt extremely conflicted. The experience was nonetheless fantastic.

A lot of thoughts went through my mind. Here was a beautiful 20 year old Vietnamese girl from HCMC with a decent portrait of herself in summer dress on her mobile phone wallpaper, just like many other innocent girls out there. Where's her family? Does she have a boyfriend? What does she think of her job? How did she end up here? Would she ever truly enjoy sex? Given a choice and granted the same privilege I enjoyed, how different would her life be?

Over the last hour I also noticed she had a few bruises and cuts. She gestured to me that the bruise on her leg was because she knocked onto the bottom edge of the massage bed. I might have hurt her slightly when I flipped her arm to ask what caused the cut, although I never found out. Can't help but wonder how other clients and the management treat her. Life must have been tough. I felt genuinely sad for her, even right now as I type this, although I know she may not need or want my pity. After all, I'm just one of numerous clients in her regular work day. Wished I could do something for [N] apart from the tip. Fuck. I felt bad.

Gave her a warm hug before handing her the cash. She got dressed before opening the door. I gestured thrice before she exited the room politely. I followed out. She handed half the cash over to the guy by the counter. I took one last look at her before waving good bye. A Chinese male customer in blue polo tee sat by the sofa, avoiding eye contact with me.

After leaving the venue, I requested from Linh (or whoever was behind that phone) a picture of [N]. I then realized her photo was sent to me earlier, I just didn't recognize it was [N]. Her photo caught my eye earlier though I deliberately didn't choose her given that she was arguably the best looking girl of the lot.

What a day.

After Thoughts
I hope people remember these girls are also human, have families and are just making a living. I might sound like a hypocrite, but please treat them with respect and dignity as you would to anyone else. Still can't forget the view from the ceiling mirror. I want to see [N] again, although it seems like the only way for that to happen is to return to Hanoi for the same service. We'll see.
 
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Southeast Asia
#2
I enjoyed reading your full review of Neko Massage. Thanks for taking the time to go into detail about your experience. Most massage experiences are unique in their own way, and it has to do with the time and day you go, the girl and her overall demeanor, and our mood as customers. It sounds like you built a good connection during your time with her. If you feel you've built up enough rapport, it's always worth trying to get her contact information. Most girls in Vietnam use Zalo for messaging, and it's easy to ask for their Zalo or FB Messenger to try and talk/meet them outside of their work. But be prepared to use Google Translate.
street approaches by men who would take you to see girls (one guy quoted me 900,000 VND for full service, tried persuading me to follow him to "just see only, seeing is free")
I've had men and women approach me on motobikes in several cities around Vietnam, offering the same thing. My response is show me pictures and if I like, you can send them to my room. Most will respond and say they don't have photos, and I say you can add me on Zalo and send me photos. And when they claim they don't have Zalo, I shrug and walk off. Every instance and story I've heard about these kinds of approaches has been scams and I would be concerned for my safety. I'm not getting on a moto with some random stranger to find myself somewhere I should not be. And I won't even get into the girls on moto who offer me a ride to distract me, while their friend reaches into my pocket to try stealing my phone. Be careful out there.
He then directed me to the lift and he tapped a white pass in the lift for me to head up to level 4. I wondered why there was a need for this access pass - was it to prevent accidental passers-by or police raids?
Yeah, this is why the massage rooms are not at the ground level. Security is always a concern, and the people on lookout are there to provide fair warning time, should the police stop for a routine check. I've never felt they want people to easily walk in off the street, because an elevator or stairway is always involved. Lily Spa in Ho Chi Minh was raided by the local police and the last time I walked by, it appears to be shut down. And some places make security a very high priority; Phung Thuy Massage have people everywhere on lookout and has felt the most secure of any massage place I've ever visited. Blowjob bars seem to be less concerned about security, but they always have a captain on lookout. Bennys 110 has this annoying, tight, spiral stairway to climb up and the front security guard radios as people are coming up, and the front desk radios back down as people are leaving. Personally, I'm happy for the security because I don't want to get caught in a compromising position and then have to try and explain it's not what it looks like and she is only a consultant :ROFLMAO:
No line-up of girls I was hoping for.
Nope. This place does not offer a lineup. But now I know you can be assertive and request to see their iPad to choose a specific girl.
I selected the 600,000 + 600,000 VND massage package
There's nothing wrong with this package, but for how much you enjoyed your girl, I would recommend choosing a package that gives you more time with your girl. And because of how many steps are involved during your time together - washing, massaging, etc. - things usually feel less rushed. And I tend to think the girl's attitude and service also improve because they know they're getting a larger tip for their service, although this is not always the case.
via the corridor of stepping stones. Gosh. Some landscaping effort here.
I thought the same thing as I walked down the pathway. I showed up for a kinky erotic massage, and instead I'm on a nature walk :ROFLMAO:
I first noticed and didn't like was that the door had a square glass panel that people could look through from the corridor; the massage table and almost the whole room could be seen from that glass panel. (The reviews I read before coming didn't cover this).
I never mention this because this is standard practice at all massage places, with the exception of blowjob bars. At every massage spa I've visited, there is always some sort of small window to see inside the room. I believe this is to protect the girl's safety, allowing the male attendants to glance inside, should any problems arise. I also think this helps prevent full service (sex) in the massage rooms, should the local police do a routine inspection or visit. For example, this girl at Zeus Massage had to hide having sex to prevent anyone seeing from the door. I laughed when I read this because in my review of Zeus Massage, I mention the local Vietnamese police have raided this place on one occasion, and they were very explicit and clear about making sure I understood no sex was allowed on the premises.

There are no small windows to see through at blowjob bars. The girls lock the door, but because the walls don't go all the way up towards the ceiling, you can hear anything before something was to happen. When you have sex at Queen Bee Massage, they are fully private rooms, no windows, and the girls lock the doors.

I also think it's odd because some places have long hallways with several massage rooms, and you cannot help but notice people moving as you're walking through. Out of courtesy, I never try to look through the small windows. Nor do I ever think about who is looking through the window; I just focus on my girl and enjoy our time together.
She showered and bathed me.
I've never showered with a girl at a massage place. They always tell me to sit in the bath as they proceed to wash me. The shower at Neko Massage was very nice and roomy, and I will have to ask to shower with the girl the next time.
I couldn't see but was sure she used some teeth action too. Damn son. That was some good effort I swear and the teeth action added another dimension to the experience. Prayed she wouldn't bite, though I didn't know how to say that in Vietnamese and didn't want to pause that kinky shit with some Google Translate. Decided to trust her with that. (Am I receiving something special here or did previous reviewers just not include this given it might be a spoiler?)
There was no teeth action during my massage there. I suspect every girl is different with how and what they feel comfortable with stimulating their customers.
I later noticed she added some Listerine to the Nuru gel and started mixing it with her hands by pulling the gel up from the cup a few times. Not sure if this was part of the SOP (don't think I saw this in reviews), but nice improvisation.
I've never heard or seen this. The only time I see Listerine used is when the girl lets me cum in their mouth. I thought it would be funny to show up at a blowjob bar and bring a bottle of Listerine for the girl :ROFLMAO:
I offered to shower her first and soap her up. Why not. I loved touching her all over. She did the same for me.
This is great! I did not have this experience, but will try to make this happen the next time. I love showering with beautiful girls :love:
I did shed a tear at the end; wondering why such an amazing girl had to work in an environment like this. I even apologized via Google Translate. Told her that I wished we met under different circumstances. For what that's worth. Probably not a lot, although I truly meant it. On many levels, I felt extremely conflicted. The experience was nonetheless fantastic.

A lot of thoughts went through my mind. Here was a beautiful 20 year old Vietnamese girl from HCMC with a decent portrait of herself in summer dress on her mobile phone wallpaper, just like many other innocent girls out there. Where's her family? Does she have a boyfriend? What does she think of her job? How did she end up here? Would she ever truly enjoy sex? Given a choice and granted the same privilege I enjoyed, how different would her life be?
I know what you mean. I've met some young, sweetheart of girls, and it boggles my mind to see them working at these places. And most of the girls tell me the same common story... they are young and did not go to school, and this is the only way they know to make good money for their time to support their families. In America, we are taught to be independent and move out at 18 years old and start thinking about retirement so we can take care of ourselves. In Vietnam, and most of Asia, the children stay at home with the parents until they marry, and the parent's retirement is the money they receive from their children. It's just a different approach to retirement, and the children grow up being taught to financially support their parents and family. On the other hand, I have found the families in Asia are significantly closer and much more tight knit than typical American families.

Most of these girls work every day, long 12+ hour shifts, and the only thing they do on their time off is sleep. Every massage girl has told me they are single, and there reasons are either a) they have no free time for a relationship, or b) men get jealous because of their job and they need to keep working to take care of their families. And should a girl have one or two days off, they usually sleep or go back to their hometown to see their families.

We are all human, which means we have feelings, but unless you really like a girl and you're willing to take on a project (meaning financial commitment to take care of the girl), there's not much more you can do. You have to battle through their low self confidence, and I'm not interested in telling people what to do. I can offer advice, but it's their choice to take action and try to make a different lifestyle change, if that's truly what they want.
 
#3
Awesome review mate. Really enjoyed reading that.

When attending places like this sometime is hard not to think about how these young beautiful girls end up here. I agree with Logan in that unless you're willing to take on that commitment to enter a relationship and support the girl financially, all you can do is make the experience as enjoyable for her as it is for you. Don't treat them like a piece meat, be nice and respectful but most importantly tip accordingly.
 
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Southeast Asia
#4
I enjoyed reading your full review of Neko Massage. Thanks for taking the time to go into detail about your experience.
Pleasure. I do enjoy reading your thoughts and Quinn's as well. The links are also helpful.
It sounds like you built a good connection during your time with her. If you feel you've built up enough rapport, it's always worth trying to get her contact information. Most girls in Vietnam use Zalo for messaging, and it's easy to ask for their Zalo or FB Messenger to try and talk/meet them outside of their work.
Sure seems like it to me, but it's hard to distinguish if it's real or just great service from [N]. I intend to exchange contacts if fate allows us to meet some day.
I've had men and women approach me on motobikes in several cities around Vietnam, offering the same thing. My response is show me pictures and if I like, you can send them to my room. Most will respond and say they don't have photos
Interestingly, the two times I bothered to stop and listen, the men whipped their phones out to show pictures. I wanted to see what they could offer. Photos looked great. However, my rule of thumb is that if a product its good, it will fly off the shelves by itself and through word of mouth; there's no need for pushy salesmen. The same applies for service.
Nope. This place does not offer a lineup. But now I know you can be assertive and request to see their iPad to choose a specific girl.
One photo in their marketing material suggested a line-up - you might have seen it on their facebook/insta. In any case, glad I wasn't assertive in getting the girl I pre-selected. Blessing in disguise.
There's nothing wrong with this package, but for how much you enjoyed your girl, I would recommend choosing a package that gives you more time with your girl. And because of how many steps are involved during your time together - washing, massaging, etc. - things usually feel less rushed. And I tend to think the girl's attitude and service also improve because they know they're getting a larger tip for their service, although this is not always the case.
True, although one would only know that in retrospect. Coming to think of it, if I were to go again, I'd rather use that additional money to bring her out for a meal or put it towards the tip rather than the room.
At every massage spa I've visited, there is always some sort of small window to see inside the room. I believe this is to protect the girl's safety, allowing the male attendants to glance inside, should any problems arise ... Nor do I ever think about who is looking through the window; I just focus on my girl and enjoy our time together.
I believe the same regarding the purpose of such windows. It's still a pain though because both the girl and myself would occasionally glance over to make sure no one's watching. It's just strange to have strangers (or know that someone can) see you in compromising/intimate moments.
I've never showered with a girl at a massage place. They always tell me to sit in the bath as they proceed to wash me. The shower at Neko Massage was very nice and roomy, and I will have to ask to shower with the girl the next time ...
This is great! I did not have this experience, but will try to make this happen the next time. I love showering with beautiful girls :love:
Bro you already had the girl bathing in there with you, what more do you want! Now coming to think of this, shower might be better given no water resistance. Every touch will feel more real.
I've never heard or seen this. The only time I see Listerine used is when the girl lets me cum in their mouth.
Thanks for confirming. Looks like I discovered a new element in the periodic table. A+ to [N] for her creativity.
I know what you mean. I've met some young, sweetheart of girls, and it boggles my mind to see them working at these places ...
We are all human, which means we have feelings, but unless you really like a girl and you're willing to take on a project (meaning financial commitment to take care of the girl), there's not much more you can do.
That conflict inside me is real. Without going into the multiple levels I mentioned, I'm unsure if I helped or worsened the situation by patronizing her and such a place. The impact can't be easily assessed or measured. I secretly wish that if and when I revisit this place in future, [N] will no longer be there, although I'd be left wondering where she is and hoping she's not in another similar shop.
 
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